House Guest

A couple of weeks ago the police dropped off Dave's brother at our house. He stayed with us for a few days. The first thing I asked him was if he was hungry, so I made him Kraft Mac & Cheese (Dave got it off Amazon for me). The next day he had to go to the police station and after they dropped him off again, sure enough I asked him if he was hungry.

What does that say about me? Is this really the right question I should be asking him first?

Dave's family thought we shouldn't be letting him stay with us after what he did, but from my perspective I would rather he stayed with us where he can actually learn morals and values and start to realize that he has potential in life. Instead of what his mother has allowed him to do and become. The MIL has given him every electronic gadget/device he has asked for, even when he breaks it she just replaces it without any consequences to his actions. She allows unrestricted access to tv/internet/phone and does not teach discipline. Dave and his sister were not raised like this, but for some reason it is ok to let him become part of the Entitlement Generation.

The Saturday night he was with us Dave and I went to a church meeting and while we were gone we told him that he could use Dave's laptop, but could not look up certain things. After we got back Dave checked the search history and sure enough he looked up the things we told him not to. So the next day I explained to him why Dave and I have chosen not to look at certain things on tv/internet. I hopefully did it in a way to make him understand our choices and to know that he disappointed us. The punishment was that he had to watch tv and look up the internet only when we were around. Last week I read an article on ksl.com about "The 5 words every teenager dreads hearing from their parents." I was hoping that my talk with him was equal to the "we are really disappointed in you" speech. I have also read in other articles that explaining to children why they are being punished can help them learn more from their mistakes than by just yelling and screaming at them when they do something wrong. I also let him know that he is always welcome in our home. I would rather he stay with us where I know I can teach him how not to be part of the Entitlement Generation.

This post might be in the over sharing department, but I never had to experience things like this growing up. I'm not sure if it is because the World has changed or because I'm not in Happy Valley Utah anymore, but now I know what to do if I am ever in this situation again.