Planning

Yeah this really isn't the best month. After the follow up appointment with the fertility dr where she told us I have blocked fallopian tubes on the distal end I held it together in her office, but for the past month I randomly just start crying. Today I was looking up info on one of my ancestors because I can request her PB tomorrow when I saw her Mother was probably (if the info is correct and it might not be?) 50 when she was born and died 10 years later. It kinda gives me hope that I could have kids that late, but only to be around for 10 years, that just made me start crying again. Dave and I still feel like we should be praying for a miracle, at least for now. If that changes, like we actually go through with IVF or start the adoption process, I'll let you know.

Right now I'm just trying to finish up my PhD. I can't wait for May when my family comes to visit or in June when I get to go home for an actual warm summer. I have been applying for jobs, with no luck. Dave has his visa interview FINALLY in a couple of weeks! Then Dave can start applying for jobs too. And we can buy his plane ticket for July to celebrate Pioneer Day in Utah and head to Colorado for me to speak at a performing arts conference! So we are keeping busy to not be completely focused on the fertility problems. But I am a planner and it's hard not to plan our future if I don't know when or if I will get pregnant, get a job, and move home to America.