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Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Redneck Utah style

My Dad emailed me the You Must be a Redneck by Jeff Foxworthy about Utahns. Redneck jokes always make me laugh, and these are absolutely true. I can't believe how many of them fit me.

*If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you live in Utah.
*If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Utah
*If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah
*If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Utah
*If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah
*If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah
*If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Utah
*If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Utah
*If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Utah
*If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah
*If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Utah
*If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph -- you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Utah
*If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Utah
*If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah
*If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly' you live in Utah
*If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends, you live in Utah

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